Ain't nothing ...

2011-08-07T07:18:00.000-07:00

It's about to leave in 2 mths times.. On thought I think that I wouldn't be affect by any stuffs.. It's about to start a new life..but I'm started to confuse and s'thing happened on me..I felt sad whenever the sentense cross through my mind..I didn't even realise there is someone step in and questioning me ... I felt not comfortable sudd not because of the question but the expression told me this person is depressed on my leaving ... I blank* and don't know how to answer ...I sat and cool down myself alone.. I have myself right now thinking on what's happening ...I'm moody in nothing... No one knows the feeling, It's hurt!

2011-03-16T04:55:00.000-07:00

I'm seeing my world slow low..

I don't know what f* happened today but I'm damn slow... All the things happened slowly..

My heart beating slowly. I felt my world empty even to speak out a word.

I walked back to the street and grab the feeling had ever cramp me down.

I passed through all the situation places I been .. I walking slowly back to the place reminded me ;

A place I struggled,I cried harmed,my heart wounded, I got depressed ...

Today;I felt sad. I bet all for depressed and today I'm meaningless loaf on the street ...

Doing bastard passing to calm myself ; blessing things happened to be memorized!

I thrown all to zero...

I passed a die heart period and 1 yr later I walking at the same place.. I depressed ; depressed for I'm doing nothing..

Heart bleeding with lost of courage and I'm still here breathing now ...

I don't know where direction is .. I kept on following the road and search for the way back.

It's seems like I thrown myself back behind when trying back to a place tht I don't even recognised myself.

I kept my courage behind I'm hiding it I let go all the things that it should be I thrown all to peace minded myself.

But things is still in their place. What had changed is I struggled to ran away from reality...

My heart is beating down low in searching for signal ...

2011-02-28T11:07:00.000-08:00

Sometimes when things get worst and you just can't denied what had happened so there's only one way solution which you have to accept it. But somehow accept is one fact sheet that we always trying to ignore probably because of heart wound? Simply just on that reason. Trying to be rasional ; Nag --- but at the moment you'll always emotional !
Feeling - is something you can't control. You only can hiding out behind and fake shit your mind but the feelings still there ... You still following what your heart told you. When you love someone, it's naturally shown out the f*blessed on ur face this does to everyone but it's a pure expression. You won't see that if heart is die!

You love to see that expression perhaps a smile.. or sometimes maybe you love to see that without any reason. Your heart told u ; I'm just love to without any strong reason enuz! Listen to ur heart and that is the most comfortable way to direct yourself. To this extent, you are willing to pay out any effort to yearn for that feelings. No more rasional I guessed. :) Hehe

How about when heart get broken ? You love someone much but desperately the feeling get ignored. You might probably get frustrated and upset...but still after sometimes, you are still willing to pay out. Simply because you love that person. It's how heart directed you in leaning to love someone without any boundaries. Word sometimes hidden all the wonderfull feelings btw you and your love one ... So be in love indeed :)

2011-02-26T18:59:00.000-08:00

Still at least is not flesh wound ...

Drag In

2011-02-23T08:36:00.000-08:00

Dinner with friends tonite, miss them alot! recall me the previous happiest memories that brought us togther ...
All the relax lifetime I passed.

Today, nothing much to said but somethings I confused.
My mood ; feelings is just affected by someone else ... The one I'm not knowing well ; even in conversation. My mind was f* blank-less at the moment.

How can you affect my emotion ?
I'm not even know the reason why my heart felt uncomfortable ...I'm just uncomfortable!
At the moment, I afraid and thinkin' pls don't do this to me..It suffer me alot ! I'm worry for nothing and act like a stupid!

Reason : ?

I like the expression .. It is also how the expression can affect my daily...
It's just too strong in waken me up !
The connection is delighted me; I'm just wonder is someone else thinking the same and feeling the same as mine ? I don't know and of course I'm not dare to ask ... It' is depends on other how they feel. As long as I m happy is okay.. :)

To this extent, I sacrifice something to earn this ... I afraid to losing istead

2011-02-11T11:27:00.000-08:00

It's late night ... and I can't sleep.Thinkin' it's been quite some time I didn't update my blog.
Probably because of work ; and many other stuffs ... I'm lack of passion to blogging.
I am empty to make a word even. Is tired and lazy to think ... And maybe all stuffs happening is keep repeat and repeat ... Sometimes, meaningless will do but change nothing ...

One thing to applause is I became beerholic ... (f*) I love to ...but is not serious as to say addicted.
But I'll like to drink some before sleep.. to sleep better ... Obviously I slept better :)
The feelin' of blurin' is quite good. This f'kingly is not a good habit ; but somehow it cure me bter.Appeared to be a fast cure medicine applied to me who thinkin' too much daily.

I read a news today, I'm sad to remind that. I wonderin' how was the feelin' of tired to life ?
Why she said tired to life? What's happening when everyhing to her is damn smoothly?
What is the reason while she completely thinkin' on the happiness of future but stuck in the middle?
I really have no idea ... Why she broken everyone and she care on them ?
Think that she got her own reason. We just can't simply justify ... Hope she in good rest.

I'm stuck in train everyday, seeing everyone rush on their way . You will felt that everyone is working on their own. The appearance is repeating with difference characteristics. I love to see that. So it's to remind me on 2 years ago what's the story happened. Still the Same - f* ! I got made up my decision based on the fact ---once ... But not too strong and last for few weeks. I'm questioned on thought but not too solid.

Left this place? I seriously think on it before. Hyno myself to let go. Endlessly, fact still there. I can't simply throw eveyrthing out and left. That is how oftenly freedom mentioned but is not an easy thing to go at least for me. Because I can't close my heart. Simple and good reason :) Night ...

2011-01-24T07:33:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I just can't hidden myself ...

Else I think too much !

Ya ... I just think too much ...

Hope broken is usual more than ever ...

So better Hope No way !

2010-11-26T21:39:00.000-08:00

How brave am I when been tried ?
How excited am I when smile was once presented to me ?
How pissed am I when nothing going on ?
How disspointed am I when seeing the words ?
How to do when tears flowing in heart ?
How was the feeling when heart get wound ?
How much I blamed myself when I missed you out ?
How do I felt when things presented real to me ?
What more I can do when reached to the end ?

Nothing to speak out instead of silence
Silence kept all and I just stand with
No cure if fate works on
So do that's fate ...

25th of September 2010

2010-09-26T00:08:00.000-07:00

1 year ago, I sat at the cafe and f* up like an idiot,totally zombied. Blamed myself for a mistake that I had made which I felt very regret! I'm in hard to passed the time, It's really suffer for me to go through! believe that it's tough enough ; I'm broken in heart else I'm broken in piece. I'm upset depressed and felt very very sorry but nothing I can do else blamin'.

1 year later, what I feared coming back. I lose;Lose the way I am. Breathing with tons of stress. The appearance was now place to me again. I'm totally lost. I fail in life, fail on the repeat makes me gain lose of everything that I tried to prove. I tried to settle but I know it's out of my ability.So how ?

Unfortunately today is Hari raya celebration for Citi. I had to attend despite of depress and upset. Apparently, I need to bright up myself and pretending I'm enjoying. That's really annoyed... Who knows I was cried in MCA ladies for half an hour blamed myself like an idiot. Tears up yet in heart; it's fucking hurt !

2010-03-06T11:25:00.000-08:00

Is it really ain't nothing ? Perhaps the wrong perception taken in. It might correct if saying I know nothing. Apparently I hold, but am I ?I knew I am not. Answer is presented and yet I'm just ignore. Endlessly with the feeling right now, suffering too much.

Whenever blog updated, it shown that my emotion get attacked.Hates everything going around, just like a bitch angry for nothing. It's actually , Im in moody. It will be happened one or twice in several months. Hates everything everyone and felt tired to life.

I seldom express my feeling to others. afraid too much; betray is one of. perhaps is another way to protect myself as I admit that I'm really fragile in heart. Alive for years ago, my life seems failed whenever moody into me. Blogging is one of the best way to express all the feelings with no boundary. Cause there is no one else, could really understand what you trying to say. As long as the one is human, your probability of feeling being ignore is still on. Perception and thoughts won't be the same. Selfish and face egoism is works to everyone.

There is no true of anyone as nc said. What we need is someone fit to us on time. It's really cruel and in fact it's real fact. Once a time, I don't know how much I pay out. I'm not yearn for any I put in. As long as the one I care is happy it should be enough. How if betray come after ? or maybe time makes change ? seriously think on it. Worst and think youself as someone stupid

So my life would be more easier if I dont; care any of them, no rush on how they feel, go for what makes me happy at least I'm happy for that moment is really enough! I don't care what's going on, any fake or else. Live up with cage free.

Be right time is happening and it always will ...

Life after

2010-02-12T03:03:00.000-08:00

It's been nearly few mths since back fr study ... been employed... But it's really a sucker life as I anticipated. Corporate life style is owned and under bounded. :$ As you expected, no freedom, fuck damn busy ongoing stuff.. Guessed that every office worker owned this life, its probably back ; took a shower perhaps its nice? don't know...Dinner as annexed whether its delicious or not. :( You have to eat as stomach is empty bunch haha... And then , sleepy attackin and usually rather than your subconscious. So think that what's going on if everyday repeatin? It's just like a belon , will be blast one day :$ Do u ever think you're belon ? Haha XD.... think for it right now !

New environment, peoples around is good thing. The place I been employed is actually not much difference compared to the others. An usual monetary place where ppl traded ... Everyone busyin' complete task .... directed its style basta*d rules. If you ever come to my work place guys, I m sure that you questioning me alot~!! haha..in my expectation I knew for sure. (Even u asked me, you're gotta skipped by me hehe3...) Only me knew the reason. In fact, I won't be reveal the reason and I m entered. This is how zhee freak as u known. No worries. I like simple as usual

In new place, there is pretty much differ with my previous lifestyle... no word can describe the feeling maybe bored or meaningless..it's just too sad to said meaninless instead of that I can't find any more words to fit in. so meaning less!

Im not clubaholic or any pubaholic, im just prefer to drink as to rest out my frame of soul... many ppls misun this but who cares. As said, I like my own way that no one even offence it. haha...isolationist? ; I admit I am one of. So don't be suprising too much ... you're not wrong if found me out that way. I guess you will :)

In new place, things need to be learn. Human learn anytime anyway so be hardwork to learn not only in work but also others stuff affectin happening your life... There is not much suprised in my new work place. It is not any western styles corporation instead its bounded. There is no creative innovation passionate talked over here. It's only regards to complete and how fast you complete. That's the reason damn alot fuck question towards me. Annoying #$%&*..

I'm not going to cares on those questions as I' m used to skipped techinically. XD
It's actually quite enjoy to work in my place cause there is bunch of fun guys girls over so not that bored. In fact, I still can accept but not for a long period. Im not staying very long i knew. Step into to continue my daily life purposely.

Anything special can grabs me easily. Found something interest over this office... So I stay, for no strong valid reason. It is me still emotionate. but it's cure. There is some I found difference in here affectin' my thought and I'm seduced yet I waiting for the answer that suppose to be ... The proven of answer whether is wrong or right is important to me ...

Simply telling me everything that it should be , or it should not..but usually I won't follow haha... I dont' like offence esspecially clash into my life. I think human should hav faith to each other. With mind as thought should own by yourself. : )

All the way I love ; with no boundaries.

New inspiration from unacceptable

2010-01-12T11:01:00.000-08:00

I'm set free today.. It's quite happy stuff to spoke around as I'm rare to have. Wells, I guess I should be happy for that. Hahaa..
I used to surfing when I do nothing. I like special, unique, feel at least it grabs my eyes. It's getting more and mores excite when I'm able to explore them step into step.ha~~ it's seduce my curious yet bring out my courage to find truth out. The connection btw is inspiring me, its' feels alive.Hope it does too to love. I hates rules, escpecially bounded by. It is definitely mad against.
I have strong inspiration on the right one. passionate yet clumpsy ..haha.. I guess no one understand what does I mean here. It's alright. :P I like my own thought as no one ever offence it. Since that, I accept unacceptable.Aren't that weird maybe to others ?

I watched a movie;an england movie tonight. It's rare but real strory. The content was so awesome. It breaks bounded, right to honesty on thoughts,feelings not everyone else does. It's pretty nice movie. knocks into my heart when I went through the story.goddamn, who are the director makes such a good movie. I bet that for sure it's inspiring you too ; might not be everyone but at least to me.

This few days, I forgot many stuffs at least i'm not thinking on them. :) But thanks to lord and producer I got nice movie along. This makes me felt better ...

Something to say

2010-01-10T12:06:00.000-08:00

It's late night of 1o th Jan year 2010. It's seems like I passed a decade to reach this year.
I have a lot of memories stayed with me on 09 and I knew that 09 is memorable to me whole life. It changed me, gaves me fullfill me in anything. I never felt so completed and so alive since I was born in world. It just I never expected the greatness came forward. So I underes it ;I broken but I knew that it shouldn't be end of the story. The story still running on. It just depends on how I continue it.

I am twenty second , I used to be the 22 years life itself. I lost myself for chasing somethings that fake actually. Love - to me is one of the word that tight up two variables into a relationship when there is feel and we need to protect it nurture it until we get marriage.I thought it's right and I assumed that was correct at least it told by everyone else who does and there shouldn't be any wrong.

I don't know how worth for trust as it ass off broken easily..Love should exist in very first sight which holing up both persons in that moment. And then, all those stuff happen afterward is to prove the first. I have a very different perception on love after I came back and I realised that I'm not anymore the twenty second years old life girl.I'm glad at least I found myself. Love is all the way you love.. It's natural, non stopping

It's definitely present to you when you're the right one :)

2009-12-15T10:23:00.000-08:00

Life is fragile, unstable and unpredictable there is ...
I'm heading to an emotion that has no turn ;
Life failure, trustless, hopeless, broken piece, fuckin' depress, bastard ruling, damn reality,
defeatin' me put me nothing

I hates ignorance; hate fake ; fake me bastard ; hate broken ; broke my heart a thousand time;
hate trustless ; hate why I am the idiot ; being fooled like hell ; hell fuckin' care on others ; hate others didn't understand my feelin' my emotion; I'm willin' to give up everything but take away all these things away from me ...

I expect ; I care nothing ; And I'm just nothing ...
I 'm fuck'in idiot , keep punishin' myself by treat my life like they're for shit !
finally, came back.thx

2009-11-17T10:36:00.000-08:00

Every year,birthday was not really important to me ...maybe can say it's optional . I'm just unused to the convenance,lazy to attend or do something on this day for all those celebration time.. I'll rather to have a sit in front of the movie and get along with those fav snack and a pint of corona or maybe a guinness draught or a simple date ..thats would really glint my interest :P My friends always reminding me this ; it's freak zw ...are you alright with that? Honestly, I don't know.. Despite of that, I probably attend all invitations to not dissapointed anyone. Think on, how could I absent as an actor of day.Of course seldom of them know it, I'm not going reveal to anyone but to some closer. Freakin' mind, I should pleasant in celebratin' as it's my born day , the day i came to this world. But I really have no idea on why i don't like it.Ghmmmm... I guess this question can be answered by keng han. Haha... XD Maybe I am isolationist or else ? arghszz...not to bother that ... I like to spent it normal perhaps having too much ritual is really freezin' me up..the most simple way is satisfyin' me ..ain't weird ? :$

Received all friends wishes like once..But except for this yr , I got something special.. not very excited but I'm happy and satisfied if I only received this greet during this yr Must be askin' what kind of the greet?what's ability on that ? It's simple wish and from a friend who I never expected ...It's like there is someone do really concern on me and mind on that. Honestly I'm in touch on the regards.Seldom felt happy on this stuff. but this time , this earliest wish does really delighting me.It's best over the years. Maybe it's sounds weird yet it's simple and there is a lot of others too.. why only this ? I have to tell here, it's not simple to me as i felt it. It's strong and real.I feel it for the exceptional indeed. It's really sparked my interest. I love sincere and it's came.

That's Life

2009-09-14T12:43:00.000-07:00

All of us experience sudden dissapointment and unexpected events.
And when something terrible happens we often declare,
''That's life!'' as though dissapointment and heartache declare the sum total of this existence

-- The appearance of these sentense strengthen the believe that all of those unexpected reach to the end as it's called LIFE.. So ? what else?

We miss the roses and see only the thorns.
We take for granted the warmth of the sun
and get depressed by the frequency of the rain or the snow.
We ignore the sounds of life in a nursery
because we are pre-occupied with the sounds of sirens.

Aren't we?

Yea, it's correct.. But I want to be the exceptional..

Miss you , But let me go

2009-09-11T23:19:00.000-07:00

When I come to the end of the road
and the sun has set for me,
I want no tears in a gloom-filled room.
Why cry for a soul set free?

Miss me a little, but not too much for you
and not with your head bowed low.
Remember the love that once we shared,
Miss you, But let me go.

This is a journey we all must take
and each must take alone;
It's all a part of God's perfect plan,
a step on the road to home.

When you are lonely and sick of heart
go to friends we know.
Bury my sorrows in doing good,
Miss you, But let me go ....

Don't give up

2009-09-07T17:30:00.000-07:00

When things go wrong,
as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all up hill,
When the funds are low;
and the debts are high,
and you want to smile,
but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must,
But don't you quit..

A friend

2009-09-07T17:26:00.000-07:00

A friend is a person
who is for you always...
He/She wants nothing
from you except that you be yourself..
He/She is the one being with
whom you can feel safe..
With him/her you can utter your heart,
its badness and its goodness.
Like the shade of a great tree
in a noonday ; heat is a friend.

If true friend, one is enough ...somone told me

Dejected

2009-08-19T18:25:00.000-07:00

feeling depressed today
dejected for all the things happened around ..

That's worst,esspecially..the reason
across moody feeling once a while..
one kind? surely f*cking no ...
tiring on holding up all
tryin to give up ..
but just how can ?

Thing presented makes me escape,
Escape in the sense makes me weary;
Escaped for how long? end of this ?
Not to think but apparently its appear
makes me suffered ; suffer badly..

Hope agains waken me,
Illus hope will bring me up ..
however ; it's only stand for a second,
Desperate me after then;
why do thats?

Not intented to but been fall,
trespass my mind whole day and night ..
Get away early as possible to not get stuck,
feeling dejected;
music and alcohol agains works well inside me...
Drunk might stop me to think of ..
But can't resolve the wound
at least 'm not flesh wound..

Heavy Misunderstanding from a friend

2009-08-18T00:39:00.000-07:00

Finished the second last subject yesterday,
considering everthing was loose up ..
Wells, it should be happy after examination
Unfortunately, result of previous sub was release..
Haha.. surely rush to see how was we achieve..
Saw ppl dissapointed,happy and moody all around there..
This is common actually,
maybe humans were too concern on how best they achieve..

So as well to me, nothing up nothing down ..
why moody up for no reason ?
Shopping around after then..

Sharing something funny but deep in here today...

Am I frequently changed my personal message ?
Is my message too inkling ?
Or my friend think too much ?
Is it my msg was heavily bringing implication ?

These was really questioning and slack off my brain.. - BLANK -_-!!

Someone was confused of my message
and thus heap a lot of misunderstanding
It's only to her mind,
But as to me; the privy c was just brain off knew 'nothing' ...
My msg was towarly other one else,
but she think that the msg was towarded her..
running messenger technique
to answer my personal msg after then
and worry for nothing ..
The amusing part is I didn't even recognisethe whole process at all ..

Actually was thinking that I never realised
this girl having such thinking thought in deep..
And pure mind with honesty attitude...
I found out something different on this friend
which I never realised her greatness..

Felt regret because of my msg makes
her stayed with qualm during the day..
My msg was not towards her but
unfortunately the timing 'matched' and she think deviously..
So as Misun happened..

Here am I clarify to you that you're not wasting my time,
and I'm really in heart to taught u..
so doesn't have any angry criteria occured
or else you just think too much ^^...

You should give your trust to me
as I'm not that cruelty person ...
But I'm glad to having a good friend in the same time...

The measurement is quite danger but think that it might be correct as you said ---
"Good to measure deep understanding btw you and me my friend"...

Felt weird but funny after thinking back all.... :D

reason

2009-08-01T04:20:00.001-07:00

Nothing special went on this few days..
Just feeling moody as always around with those stupid f*ck questioned by others
But I will try to cover up it soon and definitely get used to it as well

The day went back from trip, I felt confused on the moment -
Did I made the right decision ?
If yes, why I felt regret during that moment as I'm believe on myself....
It's went mad when closer hided up and stange went through.
useless for me catch on cz time proven and passed ..
we change nothing for those unaffirm...
wondering what we thinking on
when strange comes in ?

I missed those innocence happy time in the past
However, life goes on
we need to be mature enough as we getting elder ...
Ahead to another stage of life to continue our journey
break those memory deep into our heart

the places, time, conversation, sight,smile expression
and everything ...
how can ever forget it ?
I'm hurt someone, to you, I'm not intended to but forced to be,
sorry -_-

Okay, that should be enough and the end for moody feeling,
lets just start my journey to Ireland, Dublin
maybe I'll get a new impression on that ..?
Life is changing, who knows that what will be on the next second...

Remove those f*cking human nature , my life still heading on....

Crush

2009-07-29T17:42:00.000-07:00

Exam was finally over, started another module...
Just too impatient waiting for the Ireland- Dublin trip in the coming weekend..

Fighting for exam over the several year was really tiring ...
makes life meaningless while I can do something meaningful to fullfill my life...
But was under no choice as I need to respect parent's will and their hope toward an elder..
So I guess over here , I might release for a while..

There is a lot of things going on right now ..
right to my mind ..
I have lots of stuff to concerning and consider,
regards to many stuffs and bring impact if wrong decision made.
Touched on many r&r which really drive me crazy.
I was trully upset and dissapointed of being caged

In the sense, I need to hiding it up
An oringin scorpion is always prefer to stay alone always,
dislike other intefere on that moment,
it will never realise as easy as you think in fact,
human is always sentimental creature
they are always around to ask the reason and reason .... reason why..
can I keep silence and refuse to answer?
In reality, no such thing as you need to pretend...
covered by answering- Yea, I 'm fine..just feeling bored sometimes.
In fact, I was mad and crazy of being around on stuff , still then need to be answer those stupid question
I was crazy of f'ckin'careless-ing those damn stupid question towards me ..If someone really caring, I'll know althought in silence..
but don't pretend that knew me well and judge on me ..
Place an image thinking on me without any respectation in sense...
A lot of things going on mind, but who knows?

I need a lot of effort to makes it come true..
Not only say but action need to be taking ...
It's not easy and I might fall down and lose again and again..
facing a lot of challenge..
I might lose at all and start from zero ..
life on once, so ....

2009-07-28T12:51:00.000-07:00

001. Real name : Tracy Kaw Zhee Wei
002. Nickname(s)→ Ah wei
003. Family name→ Kaw
004. Zodiac sign → Scorpion
005. Male or female → Female
006. Primary school → S.R.J.K(C) Tsun Jin
007. High School : tell you also don't know^^
008. Current School → Liverpool John Moores University, UK
011. Long or short → Long Hair
012. Loud or Quiet → Depends On mood but prefer alone sometimes
013. Sweats or Jeans → Jeans
014. Phone or Camera → Both
015. Are you a health freak → Yes
016. Drink or Smoke? → Drink
017. Do you have a crush on someone → Not really
018. Righty or lefty → Righty
019. Piercings → nope
020. Tattoos → Going to have soon

First:

023. First piercing → no first
024. First best friend → ever have ?
025. First award → Not really remember~~
027. First pet → Hm..maybe going to have one
030. First big birthday → 18 yrs old

Currently:

049. Eating → Italian Chicken
050. Drinking → beer or fruit juice / soft drink??
052. I'm about to → finish all this question ^^
053. Listening to → drowning
054. Plans for today → cook an instant noodle when back from Conwy castle
055 Waiting for : the reach of night

Last:

057.Last phone call → from siew hui
058.Last text message → no reply for him
059.Last song you listened to → How did I fall in love with you

FIRSTS :

061.First surgery → god bless always
064.First sport you joined → squash
066.First vacation → scotland-edinburgh

YOUR FUTURE :

067.Want kids? → My pleasure
068.Want to get married? → depends
069.Careers in mind? → A lot of things going in mind

HAVE YOU EVER :

070.Kissed a stranger → nope
071.Drank hard liquor → Definitely Yes
072.Lost glasses/contacts → yes - A korean named Ang
073.Ran away from home → Never, sometimes intented
074.Broken someone's heart → definitely yes
075.Been arrested → Damn No dude
076.Cried when someone died → Yes, I will
077.Dated someone twice : Yes
078.Been cheated on → No
079.Kissed someone & regretted it → Nope

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

080.Yourself → Proud to be tracy kaw
081.Miracles → Yes, miracles makes hope
082.Love at first sight → Yes, it does
083.Heaven → Yes, god bless
084.Kiss on the first date→ No
085.Angels → Always do

IN THE PAST MONTH HAVE YOU:

086.Fallen out of love → Yes
087.Laughed until you cried -> My pleasure
088.Met someone who changed your life → Hm...yes- previous couple of years
089.How many people on your top friends do you know in real life? → the closer
090.How many kids do you want to have → 2
091.Do you have any pets → so far nope
092.Do you want to change your name → Absolutely not..
093.What time did you wake up today → 730am
094.What were you doing at midnight last night → Cleaning bedroom and facebook'ing
095.Name something you cannot wait for → my desiration
096.What's one thing you wish you could change → my life
097.What's getting on your nerves right now → telling truth to someone why I escaped 2 yrs before

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY :

098.Is there one person you want to be right now? → Yes and I always wanted to
099.Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time? → absolutely No as respect loyal
100. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life → Er....No ..under cage

Disclaimer: The copy of memes is for fun and test purposes and I do not intend or have the right to reserve the copyright.

Your truthfulness..

2009-07-04T11:39:00.000-07:00

Anything special on this day?
Surely have... Just try to express freaky here on sharing my opinion...
Let me describe some of my personality before this,
It will be more understandable if you read after then..
To my closer friends who were knew me very well on my behave, so no worries to them..
Maybe is the effect of an ordinary scorpion,
I'm an extremist which only concern on 'present or not to present'..

What I mean here on an 'extremist'' is not meant extreme to any culture or segregation..
I'm openess and respect to everyone or anything as I knew that human have the right to choose what they want...

If you ever ask me, what is the value of becoming my friend..
I have no answer to you ..
Maybe some others friends will answer you immediately or well contented which ever makes you felt happy..

So as to me, I have no answer to you or should be correctly said that I don't have any exactly answer towards you in the sense... Because my friends, I'm not going to purposely walk through you by any honey sweet talk that comfort you up..
Instead, I'm just stay quiet, or maybe you will think that I'm not caring enough or else depends on whatever across your mind...

But definitely here am I to pledged that I'll be the one who sacrifice to help and lean you a hand while others can't be..
I'll be right there on time whenever you are in difficulty cause you're the pleasure to me and it's a promise.

How dare ppl despise it while a truly heart towards you ?!Truthful can't be value..
Don't let the lie goes beyond your truthfulness ...
I appeciate each of my friend so do I hope the appeciation bring the meaning indeed to human being in anykind of relationship..
If ever rejected, it's just fine..

I have no additional comment on it as I respect the decision made on the same time...
Sometimes, You may meet a person under fateness and it's a pleasure gift to you and you should appreciate it for long last..
However, human naturally was just despicable.. They prefer to stick around with temporary happiness and forgot those truthfulness presented to them by the one ...so how to do ?
This is human right to choose what they desire.. Human- you can' be regret for what you choose..

On that moment, you choose for temporary happiness, in the sense you're gave up for the long last who presented their truthfulness to you..
At last, you will realised that what you desire is not only momently happiness as it will long lasting not ...
You felt empty and regret in fullfilling your life journey at the end ...
Try to be truth in everything you do..
We knew that different human being having different perspective, mind thinking...
In common, no one is perfect including yourself..

Actually, I'm quite dejected since last couple of days...
The feeling can be described by :

I saw the beautiful scene, but finally I noticed the evil stayed behind the scene...
Feeling broke down when realised on this.. How to do?
We need to cover it beautifully whilst we knew the 'real'..
It just when you saw someone who is perfect but in internally you knew how ugly was the person in life..
The funny thing was I accepted ...Why I accepted? The reason is I care to you my friend...

Once again, I see how the human behave was presented real to me .
I 'm experienced before now.. so once human attempted to some experience..
Definitely I got no feeling into it as it just numbely in the sense to me ...
However, it's come again makes me despair to entrust with human even the closer one..
It's proven that sincerely was not work, the honesty was f*ck enough, Dam* Bit*h to what others called caring.
No one else could come close as I don't want to be hurt by since last...

That is how human presented their faked and cruelty along their life journey...
It was cruelty-
cruelty in human own behaviour,
cruelty to others, c
ruelty to the life they're having...
I'm just curious where the honesty,pure have been gone,
where is the natural, their pleasure have been gone ?
I respect people , so I hope others do the same as well..
Human created was totally forgot their life meaning sometimes with the reason of temporary fun...

I'm an extremist ..
extreme in the things I desire, the one I love, care and appeciate..
I give my purely to them ..
But once despair proven, I definitely draw back all the things with no turn..
Pls don't trample ppl sincerity towards you as you will never realised
their greatness if you ever gave them up..

Absolutely no more in twice...

**It's a just a view here, not enough to affect anyone.. Meanwhile, It doesn't have any critic criteria.. It's just fine if you agree but forget about it when there are difference perspektif ...Thanks...

tracy

A friend text to me

2009-06-30T07:40:00.000-07:00

Friday, June 12, 2009

[ A friend text to me ]

我的好友，祝妳幸福.... 我不好...我真的不够好。
一直觉得自己不开心时，很多朋友会给予安慰...
支持...
陪伴...
依赖...
但是我呢?
对你们，我总是那么的迟钝。
最近发觉...我有时真的迷糊到连我自己都讨厌我自己。
实习....忙碌....课业....
虽然我知道这些不是好的借口，
但是我却间接用这些借口来打发曾经给予我很多安慰的好朋友。
记得有段时间的我，过得很烂。
思念的煎熬，很痛。
但是有个很好的朋友，虽然我们
不同系...
不同班...
不同区...
但是我们却依然常联络。还记得当时的我，想用旅行去忘记思念的痛。
所以，就去了。而她也是我陪我治疗的其中一个朋友。
虽然，她和我朋友不太熟，但是她是个可爱的女生，
常常可以什么都乱笑一通，所以，很快的，她和我的朋友也混熟了。
对我而言她只属于快乐的。旅途中，快乐的她，静静的陪我走沙滩，没有多问。
虽然她不用任何的言语，但是也陪我度过了一段烂时光。
可是，我却没有主动去了解她的事情。
直到今天才赫然发现，她其实也在前段时间过的很烂。
分离的伤痛，令她用了一段时间来复原。
治疗的时间，我没有陪伴，就连慰问都没有。
我根本都浑然不知，我只活在自己的世界。
当我发现时，她告诉我其实她已复原了。
我不懂这是个事实，还是只是一个自欺欺人的借口，我只觉得我心里不好过。
因为总觉得我不断在错失一些好朋友伤心的时光。
没有帮助，甚至没有陪伴。
对不起你们，真的。我真的很希望，她真的复原了。
只希望，她不要将思念憋在心里。
最后想告诉妳，不用对我不好意思，
因为我已开始等着当妳的聆听者了，
因为....
我的好朋友，
这是我欠妳的....

I felt warm in heart when I received this post from my close friend.

How was it really pleasure to me for having this kind of good friend.

Thanks a lot.. I'm not lying you, I was really cover for it ...

27June2009

2009-06-26T16:32:00.000-07:00

Around this week, I just can't sleep tight in every single night.. Everyday was full of playbill and no rest time is allowed.. What's the bill? It's shopping, clubbing, and crazy tripping ..

Clubbing was fun enough,
but it just a temporary favor..
It will never be last longer to console your broken heart..

Shopping is think of to bring back something you desired and paid..

Tripping planned was to reach the joyfulness to your life
with exploring around...
since life still end up No ...

Feeling varying based on the timing effect such as above..
Any kind of feeling will appear suddenly and invisibly...
So , it's unpredictable...

What kind of feeling ?
Just depend what are you thinking on that moment..
What if thinking of someone?
Surely, what's the one feel was guide to your feeling right now...

Way back from trip, I slept ... Slept hardly ...
Is sleep ? Mind is never off .. so how to said slept..
Maybe I'm just an ordinary scorpion, my emotion and thinking was always linked together ....
Whenever I think, my heart was broken piece at one time ...
Try not to concern on , but yet the things come near to ....
Even the scent come close ,eye opened was just realize it's a hallucination
everything back to normal ...
So what's up . my feeling dejected...

Go off..

2009-06-22T23:09:00.000-07:00

Somone do appear apparently on me before now..Do you ever know that I'm just stuck on previously? Prior that, I'm bear - not to said no..I don't ever dare to hurt your feeling.. But freaky strange us, change me.. I was regret and apologize for ur commitment ,our memory which felt warm in my hand ever.. Regardless, tear was up..you're away from my heart which I'm not dare to tell you that I won't be turn back for sure... Do you know how am I be piqued at myself whenever think of this?Ha!Not bad ,it's just nice,regret devour me.. How am a ruthlessness girl you ever known.. Since that, I'm dare not to tell you by think of in console my regret.. Wells up,music and alcohol makes sense to me...

Why not

2009-06-19T18:13:00.001-07:00

Why not for your happy life ?
Everything is on your desirable
Just bring it out and
Forget about those hate or whatever pain..
Stay an extremely new life here without worries..
So do appreciate the precious moment around
Wantonly enjoying peaceful life without cage
Fooling around and just fooling around...
Hopes do that, my friend!

*p/s: you knew what I mean...

Uncertain...

2009-06-15T10:33:00.000-07:00

It's a good day here today.. Good to calm down or just release any confused complicated matters in mind... Certainly you will asked me, why the post stated 'uncertain'? In the meanwhile, it was a good day here as I said... However, Life is not that easier to let you gain something or someone...Human was just confused and faked over the time depend on the situation.. It's just suck enough when they prefer to hiding up their pure truthfulness in respect to their own as well as to the others.. On that reason, human becoming confused, faked whenever things was going on.. Is that the best proper ways should comes to life? I hate uncertain enough, it clearly shown that human or else things was unpredictable.. It's just terrible enough whenever think of this...Do ever think that certain action will bring much worries and strange the relationship btw human with just only your unaffirm expression?So why do that? It's hurt ppl heart no matter what reason..

We alive and step here is to confess the purely human being spirit.. That's why god made us ... Somehow, despair again for the faked feeling inside.. It's not enjoy and comfort with those stupid feeling.. It's unaffirm and bring ppl into strange with speechless...I'm wonder why was confuse always happened while we can easily destroy it... So do again proven that human was complicated with no reason... One sight or one smile does really enough not in express your feelings I think ...However, it's may pure and truth enough! The wonderful expression with honesty that you can't imagine how impact it was... Smile was honestly towards you and you accept it in a second.. That's made my day ! So don't let faked slur your truthfulness.. thx god!

* Pls behave to not let someone beside hurt ..

It's a just a view here, not enough to affect anyone.. Meanwhile, It doesn't have any critic criteria.. It's just fine if you agree but forget about it when there are difference perspektif ...Thx...

weather

2009-06-10T12:27:00.000-07:00

Class started morning till the end of afternoon...shopped around after that.. It's started raining over here.. However, the weather was not exteremely cold today.. At least, it was better than yesterday..so get used to it... Maybe is the effect of tired,I just felt moodless and walked by empty...Pls don't ask me why as sometimes I just moodless with no other reason..My emo was faked and in confusion since the last couple of months... I knew the reason ... The weather was cold but think that 'when heart is warm' then cold is not a reason to be 'cold' anymore.. felt that my thought always crash with my heart.. That's the problem which suffered me along... I'm began afraid to give off purely as despair of the trust , it seriously lead to negatively closed.. How irritated am I when honesty put aside by the faked factors...It's pure however it's had been pent-up ...How was it clearly presented to me was claimed me numb ...

ouhs..long breath

Revealed

2009-06-04T11:36:00.000-07:00

Human was incomplete in desiring their life, I'm the one that comes to it ... Like once I said, human should be naturally borned with no impurity. However, it proven me wrong all the times ... I felt bored of being heard of those faked impression.. It's just dissapointed lord for the human done.. I told off someone I care of my thought.. However, I felt something uncomfy of the revealed.. Maybe is touched with my privacy or I'm too cautious for trying not to hurt someone feeling.. That's really makes me tired for always under cage.. When can I thoroughly control my life? I'm tired of that feeling but I can't stop cause I known once I stop others will hurt pain... so destroy my thought will the best choice... Told off is best for express the feeling , thought but unfortunately I'm not dare to try for it... That's would really suck! try not hurt others but I get hurt after then, pissed! you know if u ask me , I will definitely definitely be there.. Don't you know how pissed am I when heard that words since I can't do anything ... I been tied up ... guessed thats the reason you should know ...

The cover of life's book is closed,
For one we love so well,
But kindly thoughts of years well spent,
Are what its pages tell...
-W. R. Golden-

Peak period

2009-06-01T16:51:00.001-07:00

Guessed that your guys must wonder why am I not post up any new entry for so long time ... It's already 1 weeks more I didn't appear on my blog. All I can tell u my friends, I'm facing a big challenge last week time before I came to further my studies ... The journey before came to UK had brought to me alot of impression which I never thought of it before.. The stuff had brought me into pesky.. I need to accept for the consequences that comes to me..By then, this consequences is I never expecting...It's cruelty and may made me down into zero..! you never can expected how sh*t am I in that period.. I am just like an utterly worthless person which can't accept my action done in the past... I was regret for been tried ... It's makes me confused on my decision made... I becoming upset and despair all the time.. Luckily the time passed. I can back to normal however the memory was grilled deep in my thought ... I never want to repeat again the mistake...This mistake brought to me the implication how was my life continue... I'm just switch to else one after then...

Perhaps I'm no longer zhee wei ...Who knows?

Good old times..

2009-05-22T12:21:00.000-07:00

Such a good old times, I saw his picture today when I was tidy up the photo album for the span of last few years... He was really a good gentle men I ever seen.. Nice caring and i'm in touch with his greatness ..Holing up with him is reeally delighted my day previously..It's gone when we're gonna step into the diffrence road of life ..I'll respect his doing as well as he is..The pictures recall back all the precious memories with .. He was the first who makes me felt wanna spent with in the rest of life... realised that I have alot of memories went off with him.. stuck on his smile and went to depress whenever each of us do.. However, times passed and it's gone ...

Fouth day

2009-05-14T12:08:00.000-07:00

It's really suck for me around this few days and that was never happened before..It just worst to me and seriously affected my daily life.. My daily gone like hell with those undefinable feelings..Questioning and thinking in my thought every second..Hiding up myself and prefer to be alone all the time...I knew this time I was hurt painfully..leave with me scar-hearted.. It is the hard time for me to release and I can't find the solution to cover for it...The pain was destroying me.. I'm just realised that at least I'm not flesh wound now..But even more than that.. Tears was flowing deeply in heart... Every first became inreality became eternally & never turned back to me .. I miss a lot the memories,the expression, the smile,the sight,the song whenever holing up with... The pleasure and faith given was claimed me flaked.. I was crash with all those memories madly... It's come with me recall and repeat all around .. I can't take it anymore... How can I calm down myself whenever I realised the ending ? End by my leaving , a weak spirited... How to retract all the steps taken, cares that given sincerely.. Kept on punishing my feeling by ran off from the reality...Nevertheless, it doesn't work to console myself...I need time n be patient to let it go.. I'm regret much for didn't realised earlier the impact of the feeling inside me...Now, I collapsed..

Shell off

2009-05-09T11:52:00.000-07:00

It's been a very tired day ..Physically tired with heart wound... haha- Am I right? Just ate dinner with my friend after busy for whole day! Ouhs...:( Drank latte at SF coffee since I like the sence so much... It may calm down my feeling for a while.. Today, I felt frustrated... I wonder how was this fella was nice with me once ever. How dare this fella done this to me with the trustworthy given! Trust was unvaluable and is the most worthy element inside a 'friendship'.. How dare ppl despise it ! Don't towards me pretendingly adn pls don't come to me... I was pall of your hokey..You broken the promise instead so don't turn to me and said you're not! I'm not depress of losing a friend but still just as well to see through earlier ... It's just okay and be nice to myself for discern the truth who are not cheated like a fool...Do your way as what you desired to.. Of course, I'm not going to be along..

~You're a good friend however you broken our friendship...

Silence

2009-05-05T08:52:00.000-07:00

It's has been few days I didn't turned up on my blog... felt itchy of my hand tonight ...:D

Last few days,a friend asked me 'Are you gonna post up something that happy on the matters happened in the last couple days cause ...xxxx? Ha- I told him nothing but kept in silence';

First on thought, thinking on mind 'Yea, I think I will be post up something happier to shared with' ... Undeniably, the reason of happiness was- I got what I want and desired the most ..
I felt grateful to my lord in deep ! love you by my heart! Thanks for everything that given to me...It's my pleasure!

Things were went on smoothly this few days, I should happy around on that, but it just makes me felt uncomfortable.. The most strangely was I felt the faked inside of the comfy...Why...? I kept on asking myself - 'Girl, things going on smoothly..Why are you worry of that? Can't you just enjoy of the comfy?' It was just fooled around myself with that kind of stupid questions ...I thought I can be release for one or two days to enjoy calmness...Certainly, life agains told me 'No' ...Don't even think about it! I need to facing with the reality and No more dreaming allowed ! Pls don't fool on myself like dullard!

I felt that I'm a good liar..not to others but only to myself ... try to lie on thought in spite of how the things presented real to me... Today, I should be impatient to writing out my pleasure happened last few days.. But am I able to write it out? I got what I 'desired' but lost my usual at the same time.. Am I okay with that? satisfied? I knew from early, life won't let us stayed easier than we thought... But I hope for one execption...Just only one! I'm not a greed girl...But why it just couldn't realised me on the lust of believing for miracle in once ever...

I knew things won't going smoothly and easier than I thought... But human aren't simple enough? Why human who was pure and honest once created are now act like a demon? Is it label for the movie' angels and demons'? I hope it definitely 'No'... Somehow, Its just don't think I'm right as I seen the praise of human towards faked often... They just throw away their truth and wearing a nice mask everyday with adore smile..Is it that is the ways for them to being protected? Or pretend to destroy others? It is so terrible enough! A perfection inside covered a horrible face ... Why they choosed to be?! Oh my god! holiness ...Where have 'you' been?

~~ It just answered that life was always under no choice~~
Choice forced you to change? Or you make choice covered you up...

29th April 2009

2009-04-29T08:24:00.000-07:00

Today was a quite 'busy day' for me as usual.. There is a lot of things going on right now.. My brain was stuck and blank in the meanwhile.. Can't breath for a second..:( Relax was mostly far away from me, and troublesome is always around by my side...

Two days gone...Did I get the answer I been waiting for? How confused am I now? I m asking on myself... But the funny part is I couldn't answer.. Just thinking of the possibilities that may happening.. I'm thinking of it all the time. Just makes me couldn't concern on my task... Till then, my task was cumulated.. sure I can know what happening on next with the cumulated. Just prepared to be grilled...

(Claimed that picture shown was sent by Nic)

Break time nearby ... I'll nvr forget my break as it is quite important to me ...Till then,lunch wit my fren,Willie...Time almost gone...I need to well prepare myself back to my desk to continue the session ....

So do again, my godness...Fate was playing me all around... What should I do when things came suddenly without any notice ? I wish I could brave myself to forward my step in front of the one that crush my thought in the early morning.. So do I met, but I gave up as not dare enough to faced with...How pissed am I when someone I care the most was leave out of my sight.. Meanwhile, I can't do anything instead of escape.. It was pain to heart..Nvr felt before now...Things goin with simple, am I caused complication to it ? I don't even wanna know about that..Just dissapointed to myself...I should brave myself no matter what is the situation... But why I choosed to gave it up?D*mn!! st*pid!

What I been waiting for is only for this moment right? I shouldn't gave it up easily which I nvr think of it ever.. I'm lose all the way... Period to staying is kept on shortening, it was then at the same time bring to me much of worries... I was happy when seen someone I care but pained to heart during the same time..It's confused! I'm totally lost...How irritated am I when there is something wanted to speak out but hold for it at the last second and leave after then..I don't even dare to look at you but wonder are you noticed on that? Things going worst than I thought... I should make it over and delay no in wasting time...

Last do I hope for the fate...My step will be forward on with no turn...Sincerely wish do!

Waiting...

2009-04-23T12:01:00.000-07:00

Quite bored for the FC calculation during my desk today... It's been not excited anymore when I repeating same task everyday.. Boring when faced with PC whole day of thinking how to run up along with my brain! Felt meaningless and the feeling is tiresome... Stayed like chump enough untill mood gone..lunch is useless but is good for me to have a rest in soul.. Sat at my co food court today, saw ppl across and across, rushing, chatting but me is rather prefer to be alone sometimes. Don't know why..weird-Maybe wana calm down before moving to anything or the life is just wasted if we don't see things around us carefully... Actually, I knew my intention for being alone... Life is inscrutable - It just mean to : When I don't need you, why you came back to me? In the sense, its come by 'where are you when I needed you the most'?

Things always happended around us with short of the answer we desired and mostly waiting for... Am I look like an idiot? But it is just worth for me in my own thinking .. I am trying to met last up for the fate btw us before leaving... Quite sadness when heard about this.. I can't predict things happened everyday but just let it be... At least, I done my will ... I'm waiting but is it there enough time before leave? I am regret for unknown reason.. will it running smooth ? I hope it will ... At least I'm not be repentant of ...

-- I shall give you the bless ever when I met you for last --

tired attached upset

2009-04-22T07:23:00.001-07:00

Ouhs, it's was really a tired day ... My eye kept closed all the time by lean against my desk, sooner or later - I will imagine my desk as my bed! Oh God! Yet I need to pretend that I was awake and alert during the sleepy time! Ha- so bad..even sleppy also can't sleep well..That's called life! Sometimes, we can't do whatever or anything we want and desire to..Just follow up the situation around to bringing the decision to us...what the others want me to do... that would really suck! worst!

It was pitiful for human being who can't choose their desirable life... However, we need to step into it since we are forced to be. I saw my colleague today is run on busy the corporate stuff non-stop for whole day. I realised that she don't like her task but somehow we need to accept it coz we are under no choice.. She said to me. Aha-tats was the problem ..Guess that the words ' no choice' ; is the reason of all unreasonable stuff... That would really suck! right?

She is a tough girl with mature thinking( adorable smile around the time). She is hard to achieve this level, so won't be give up easily.. I'm really admire her hardwork..She is really a workaholic!Sacrifice a lot up to this level... even her blessedness.. It seems like easy but not so many ppl can trully towards it !

Am I gonna follow her step in the future? I don't dare to think about it .. I hope I won't be but the situation was clearly told me off that 'I will'---so funny ...

Again, I didn't met up the one I care ... The one that can pull up my daily,affecting my mood and feeling around the time with the only expression -_-!! I was dissapointed and mood gone down for whole day! Human and life is so flimsiness ... When we put hope into someone, they finally dissapointed us ! heart broken then.. no more else

Fate btw us...

2009-04-20T10:05:00.000-07:00

Another meaningless day. . . It should be correct to said that - I done a lot of things but yet I felt empty.. The empty feeling is troublesome to me, it's not any better than the worst! The feeling was undefined, I was look like an idiot for sure on now... I seems like lost because of incomplete perfect. . .The things is worst enough when I realised it but don't ever know the reason , what I lost? This questioned me all around the time. . . A person who miss her usual! Everything is going smooth and beyond my ecpectation but why the feeling brought to me is so feigned! Is it this is called 'meaningless'? How can I calm down myself when I stayed my daily like hell! They are worthless..Kept on punishing myself with the faked feeling,the truth seems like demented its charac...ha-.

okay, enough!Don't always around on this faked..

Fate btw us? - - - I am curious why would I wrote this for the meet up btw us.. The story is began with where did I met for a person that leave with me a memorable personal..The place I rest for..

I am so attracted by this person, touch in my eye and holing up with... maybe is look alike someone...

We have been met up several times. . However, today this fellow didn't appeared . .I felt a little bit dissapointed.. But somehow, life is alwaz full around with miracle, we doesn't know what will be happened in the next second. During the moment, I'm the one..!The one I care the most, I wanted to met,who inciting my feeling was thoroughly appeared in front of me .. The moment was delighted my day! :0 -0-!

This feellow really can touch into my heart ... from freaky until affirm..The feelin is truth and was nvr fake...

Right person,right feeling but is this fellow right to me on time..We don't knw even me..just Let it be..

A folksy necklace

2009-04-18T11:02:00.000-07:00

Today, I was shopped around the KL center malls..It's tired but yet is worth.. I am loose from the gate during the weekend as I need not to work... Tired after the war game played in the corporate like hell, so human gonna relax and compensated themselves by doing what they likely to... -O- Ha- -!

I finally bought a necklace when shopped around the place that full with the breath of folk... I felt curious when walked around the place..cause I seldom get into it ...It's interesting somemore! My eye kept on rolling to observe for the special things around.. In the nexxt second, I noticed of this necklace and how come it seem like close to me, the feeling is different!I can't describe the feeling thru the words... :)Yea! I seen it before..That was 3 yrs ago, I met up with a person who is so special and charm but unfortunately we got no fate ... So it was quite memorable when I saw this necklace as he also worn the same but differ decor.. Show u the picture(necklace)...
One of the reason for me to kept the necklace -
I guess that it could remind me of the memory btw us which ever felt deep inside my heart...
However it's gone...

The meaning of this midnight...

2009-04-18T10:02:00.000-07:00

On this moment,I should slept well and have a nice sweet dream during the the middle of night..But unfortunately this cold and impassive midnight had just wake me up and brought me into the feeling which was undefinable..I was a litter while drunk tonight but it was really happy enjoying with the fancy frens gathering.. It's good to me coz at least I can forget about those messy thinking first..! Felt so good for the relax enjoyable feeling without any feaze..suppose I am slept well now, but why i wake up suddenly？Errs..It is lying to you if I said I just want to make use of this nicety calmness midnight and write down some words to fill up my feeling right now:) Subconsciously, I knew that I had been gave up something or else during this moment,so the feeling right now was veryy comfy..And thats not so soon, the most admirable time may present on my daily life story,why not for the appearance( I asked myself)?life is suppose to be enjoyable with the decoration of simple funny matters in the middle road of our life attached with the amazing story..and the story is just depend on what we wants and needs! It is regardless that the story will step by the appearance of any crossover person,matter and even more unexpectable things! Suddenly.., through this impassive nitez…Only now I realized that I should enjoy the peace come together with it.. Yes,mm..sometimes we may see the things exactly what we seen,but we leave behind the meaning indeed and stay by meaningless ..why not we go and find out the meaning indeed that we leave behind long time ago? So try to have a very sweet dream …